-&I did smile- yet crying inside me
Doug i did smile, pls don't say i didn't smile like the past.
everythiing change how can i smile like the past?
i didn't cry today becasue it too pain to cry out .
had a fall today, bleeding non stop! & i don't feel any pain
didn't even cry didn't even care & contiune walking.
because i know that bleeding is another way for my tears to come out
casue i hit myself to say no crying. i don't wish t see myself hitting myself
becasue of him.
Everything is my fault. So i blame no one. only myself to blame
blame myself who love someone so much.
blame myself not to show how much i love him in the past.
everything i cann only blame myself, i can't blame anyone not even him
not even the girl he is with now. because ( i don't wish to say lah)
If we can together once more i will be back myself when i am with you.
i willnot shy will not scared of anything le. hope one day that day will come bah.
even inside my dream i will also love it.
i just love the bad him the more bad he is i love him more why?
Sorry my dear, i won't get into any relationship after him.
If my painfulness can make him happy & xinfu i willing to.
Do you know till now why i didn't say break?
because in the past i promise you before if you rememeber,
you ask me don't ever leave you, you feel so unwanted.
so that what i promise i don't want to break my promise unless
you say to me i can forget everything about you. i will.
...............
Only you can heal me& let my love for you remain single
i will wait wait till i die i will still wait. i am not that kind
of girl who say waiting for you yet having other guy
i say i will wait mean i will. you should know i am
a very gu zhi de girl.
